Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. He has morals. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. You already have internalized that part. I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. A certain someone might read it. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. Why? I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? "Soz". I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. I gave up playing tennis with him. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? Yup. Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. Well you need to figure that out and fast. 4 days ago. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Feeling guilt when dumping the guy : r/datingoverthirty Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. Don't feel guilty. Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. PostedNovember 9, 2014 Team spirit is this: Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. View related questions: And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. With the other woman just across the room! And a stitch in time saves nine. That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! That is what separates the women from the girls. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. Before delving into my own personal story, Id like to address this subject generally. Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. ;-)) When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A I wonder how that struggle with trust might affect bonding within a romantic relationship contex- oh, wait - could it, would it, on a train in the rain with a fox in a box, Sam-I-Am, possibly always communicate to your husband a sense that you don't fully enough trust *him*, in which case that must mean you're judging him by YOUR standards ergo he'd better hold back a bit just in case? To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Your guilt is your punishment. I'm married, but kissed another man - PeoplesProblems.org I kissed another man four years ago. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. He deserves to know. JavaScript is disabled. With the other woman just across the room! I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! In essence . Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. Have a happy day every one. Oh, I see. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! So what do you think? The playing field is even now according to statistics. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. If you. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. I feel so bad since then. That's a long time for kissing. Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . Jam, your wife holds the cards. NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? Again - your choice. Because your significant other doesnt fully believe that you just kissed this person because you were intoxicated. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. ;-). Are you dreaming about another man? Here's what it really means He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. There is more going on. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. (That'll do me nicely! male Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? Or run away? Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. I'm so confused. And Brodie groped James. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. I didnt tell him. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. This thread has expired - why not start your own? Don't have an account? You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror But for me, it was. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) The video shows twogayguys(fellow vloggers Jordan Jayro and James Butler) partner with four straight men togive them their first man-to-mansnog. I was correct, she struggles with trust. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. It was just a kiss. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. find me on and follow me on. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. Anyway I'll get off this post now. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. 15 votes, 25 comments. Why do I feel guilty after a make out session? - Quora SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. I mean that in a funny way. 5. Nah Don't say a word about it. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. I'll see you over there. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. Why would you want to do that? David bit Jordan. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. Past is something you cannot change. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. What if your husband ever found out? Why don't I feel guilty for kissing another guy? - Quora However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. She had gone to bed. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. It's just a "good weekend?" I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. I said no but he assured me nothing would happen and we would just lie and cuddle.In a drunken moment I agreed and he assured me nothing would happen. Is Having Feelings for Someone Else While Married Normal? I can't stop playing it over again and again. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. Confesing to your husband was risky. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. I kissed another man four years ago. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. But the guilt is killing me. Stories about open relationships, swinging, polyamory and other alternative relationship structures. Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. Sentiment accepted, though. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman You drank and you kissed. It didn't feel real. (Got me cracked) 24 i asked him how he'd feel if i went and made out with another man in front of him. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. The Guilt I Felt Kissing Another Man While My Partner Watched reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A Any advice guys? Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. But I'll let you off because that was a MacResponse whereas 'a lot to take in', i.e. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. Despite their passion during the kiss. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe.